I keep starring at this beautiful bracelet that he bought me. Makes me sad. 
I don’t want it anymore and it’s not because I don’t like it…but I’m leaving in exactly one month today. When I’m gone, everything will be different & I’m scared things will change because I love how things are. 

I almost want to cry. 
I know I shouldn’t be thinking so ahead of myself, but I can’t help it. Knowing that each day goes by, the more him & I know each other…only means the closer we are to be apart from each other. I almost want to spend more time with him but I don’t want to over due things cause I know that will only mean the more likely I will want to just let things go.

I should of never accepted him paying for the bracelet. I should of left it alone & not even bother to try it on. Once again, I mess things up. I love the bracelet though, every time I look at it, it reminds me how he touched my sun burn as I moved my hair to the side cause it was hot. That same moment, I learned that his first name is Ever…meaning siempre in Spanish.

I guess good things came out of it but I should of never let him buy me the bracelet.
Even though him & I most likely wont work out in the future, the bracelet will be an object that there is more beauty then appearance & that he is an example of how well I can be taken care of without a reason. He is as perfect as I can ask a guy to be and it makes me so sad that I don’t want to fall in love at this point in my life. 

I refuse to fall in love.